It would surprise many people to learn that they are in a dysfunctional relationship. Most people think their relationship may have a few problems or issues, but the truth is that their relationship is a dysfunctional one. It’s not complicated, as many like to say, it’s dysfunctional.
So how can you tell if your relationship is dysfunctional, or functional? Here are some signs that your relationship is dysfunctional.
1. Your relationship status changes at the drop of a hat. You break up, get back together, break up again, and get back together again. No one takes your break ups seriously anymore because they happen so frequently. On/off relationships are dysfunctional, and the relationship is no longer sacred because it can be called off at any time. The relationship never matures and evolves, problems are never resolved and the pattern continues.
2. Too much drama. Everyone has relationship drama now and then. Dysfunctional relationships have drama all the time, and for any little reason or no reason at all. This is unhealthy, and destructive.
3. Disappearing. If you or the one you are in a relationship with goes MIA without warning and for no good reason, only to pop up again down the road as if nothing happened, you are in a dysfunctional relationship.
4. Lack of communication. If you rarely communicate, barely communicate or only wind up arguing when you do, you are in a dysfunctional relationship.
5. Abuse. If you or the person you are in a relationship with are being abused in any way, the relationship is dysfunctional.
6. Misery. If you are miserable more than you are happy during most of the relationship, it is dysfunctional and you need to get out.
7. Addiction. If the person you are in a relationship with has an addiction problem that they have not gotten under control, they have a dysfunctional life and you have a dysfunctional relationship.
8. Self Expression. If you are in a relationship where you cannot freely express yourself, be yourself or feel good about yourself, you are in a dysfunctional relationship.
9. Lack of Boundaries. If either you or the person you are in a relationship with does not respect the boundaries of the other that were agreed upon, you are in a dysfunctional relationship.
10. Staying for the wrong reasons. If you or the one you are in a relationship with is only remaining in the relationship for the sake of the children, for financial reasons, etc., you are in a dysfunctional relationship.
11. Control. If your relationship is too controlling for you or your partner, you are in a dysfunctional relationship.
12. Complaining. Constant complaining and criticizing and a lack of respect for you or your partner is a sure sign of dysfunctional relationships.
13. Cheating. If you are supposed to be in a monogamous relationship yet cheating keeps recurring, you are in a dysfunctional relationship.
14. Lack of commitment. If your relationship has been going on for a long period of time but has no boundaries, commitment and has not moved to another level, you are in a dysfunctional relationship.
15. Lies. If there are way too many lies and secrets in your relationship, your relationship is dysfunctional.
16. Selfishness. If only one of you is getting their needs met, then you are in a dysfunctional relationship. If only one of you make the rules, set the plans, create the mood, then your relationship is dysfunctional. If only one of the people in your relationships’ happiness, career, goals, dreams, wishes and feelings matter, then you are in a dysfunctional relationship.
The list goes on and on. These are just some examples of dysfunctional relationship. It is time they are addressed and it is time something be done about them. Dysfunctional relationships do not get better on their own, they get worse. It is either time to try (both of you) to make your relationship a functional one, or it is time to end it and get closure.