The signs you are not ready for a new relationship are not always hard to see. Although you may want a new relationship and think the time is right for one, you may not really be ready for one. You may be unaware of it, but you may be sabotaging your chances with a new relationship because you are not really ready. So how can you be sure that you want and are ready for a new relationship?
Well the first sign that you are not ready for a new relationship would be that you have not cut ties with your ex. Those ties must be cut emotionally, physically, and mentally. If you are still sleeping with your ex, communicating with them more than you truly need to, or preoccupied with them in your thoughts then you need more time before you try to find a new relationship.
The first thing you need to do is cut the cords, and then give yourself time to get used to your life without them. Don’t kid yourself that it will be instantaneous. It is a process and you must go through the entire process. If you try to start a relationship before you have truly put the past behind you the results can be devastating and you can wind up hurting an innocent person, and not just yourself.
Another sign would be that instead of learning from your mistakes, you are repeating them. If your last relationship ended because, for instance, the person you were involved with was not emotionally available, learn from that. Stay away from anyone that is not emotionally available. If you find yourself attracted to people who are not emotionally available, you are clearly not ready to move forward with a new relationship, you are instead repeating your past one.
You will know you are ready if you can see the past for what it was and make better choices in the future. Instead of wanting to fix someone’s life like you tried before, you now want someone who doesn’t need all that work. Instead of trying to change someone like you tried to in the past, you now will seek out someone who is great for you just as they are.
Another sign that you might not be ready for a new relationship is if you are looking for someone because you are desperately lonely. When you are desperate, you will take anything. If you are desperate for a new relationship it is too easy to overlook your differences. You will try to hard to make the wrong thing work. This is a waste of time because although you think you are pursuing happiness, you are actually sabotaging yourself from finding the right person because you settled for the wrong one too easily.
The next sign you are not ready for a new relationship is if you are looking for a distraction. Let’s say your finances are in disarray and your career is a mess. Instead of fixing that mess you think getting involved with someone new will make things better. They won’t. Those problems won’t fix themselves why you put all your energy into a new relationship. And those same things will wind up potentially screwing up your relationship when they catch up with you. Fix yourself first. Come from a better place than one of feeling broken and a mess otherwise your personal relationships will wind up a mess as well.
The next important sign would be that you understand the importance of communication and honesty. If you are willing to be yourself and not some version of what you think will attract more romantic relationship opportunities, than great. If you find yourself keeping your true self hidden, and are afraid to express your thought and emotions, then you are sabotaging your own chances of finding the right person for you.
Without showing people who you are, you are not giving them the opportunity to get to know the real you. If you do not express your needs and even your displeasure then you are not creating healthy boundaries and are not making sure this person is capable of making you happy. Don’t worry about rocking the boat. In order to find out if someone is right for you, one of the best ways is by seeing if your feelings are important.
Don’t be the only one to make compromises, your feelings count too. Otherwise you will find yourself at the same point as you are now, wanting a new relationship because your old one did not work out. Don’t be impatient. You may be frustrated that the one for you is out there but seems to be taking forever. Well the same could be said about you. You may be their “right person for them” but you won’t get your act together and they have to sit and wait around for YOU to be ready!