Staying too long in relationships usually only prolongs the inevitable. Of course all relationships hit rough patches, and you shouldn’t bail from a relationship for minor reasons. It’s when your relationship has more bad times than good that staying too long in those relationships is slow torture.
You may think that hanging in there will reap rewards in the long run, but all you are reaping is more suffering and letting the negativity escalate. In some cases, if people ended a relationship rather than staying in it too long it could have ended amicably, or with little bitterness and resentment. But refusing to see reality, and clinging to a dysfunctional relationship never ends well, they seem to always end in war.
So what is the purpose of staying too long in relationships? Are people so afraid to be alone they would rather stay in a relationship that doesn’t work? Do we have such a skewed view of relationships that drama and craziness seem normal to many people?
When a relationship does not make you happy, and your partner is not happy, haven’t you stayed long enough? What are you waiting for? Are you waiting for your money situation to change? How long have you waited, and has your money situation changed? Staying in a relationship for money costs you a part of your soul and years of your life. Is it really worth it?
Are you staying until your children graduate from high school or another family reason? Your children’s education is important for their future, but keep in mind they learn their relationship skills from their parents. Are you teaching them well by staying in this relationship, or are you teaching them the wrong thing? Children are not stupid, they see more than we often give them credit for.
What is staying too long in your relationship really doing to you? Is it helping your confidence and self-esteem? Probably not. Is it making you feel loved, needed, and cared for? Not if it is the wrong relationship it isn’t. So when this relationship does end, who will you be? A broken down person with bad relationship patterns, trust issues, and insecurity? How will that affect any other relationship you get into when this one finally ends? Probably not well.
When a couple is staying too long in a relationship for logical reasons (financial, kids, etc) the emotional side of the relationship dwindles down to nothing. This very often leads to cheating and affairs. So instead of ending things like adults and with some respect, one or both parties go outside the relationship for their emotional and sexual needs. Now instead of leaving a relationship because it was time to do so because the relationship had run its course, it ends because of an outside party.
How does it make sense that you don’t want to hurt someone by ending a relationship but you have no problem running the risk of hurting them by cheating on them? It makes no sense. If you want to cheat, then end your relationship. It is that simple. If you want the freedom afforded to single people, then make yourself single. If you have been cheating in your relationship for years, you have been staying too long in your relationship. Isn’t it obvious that either that relationship isn’t enough for you or you shouldn’t be in monogamous relationships?
Dealing with reality is much better for everyone rather than ignoring it. Staying in relationships for the right reasons makes sense, staying for the wrong reasons does not.