Love Life Coaching

Stop Blaming Yourself When Relationships Go Wrong

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Stop blaming yourself when your relationships go wrong. There is some accountability you should take for the relationship going wrong. Perhaps you enabled bad behavior. You may not be good at creating and establishing boundaries. You may have seen a boatload of red flags you chose to ignore. You might have known they were not single when you got involved with them. You may even have known it was too soon for them to start something with you because they recently got out of a relationship.

Okay, those things are on you but don’t waste your time blaming yourself and beating yourself up about that. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and learn from your mistakes so you do not repeat them. Make better choices going forward. Pay attention to red flags and don’t be afraid to end a relationship before you get burned. Why wait? Don’t give someone too many chances when they clearly do not deserve them. Speak up for yourself when you are being treated in a way you do not deserve. Be prepared to dish out punishment when someone crosses your boundaries.

If you do things like that, then you will be much better suited to find the right kind of relationship for you. Give yourself enough time in between relationships to learn these lessons and be ready to apply them. And always remember, in most cases, you were not entirely to blame when your relationships have gone wrong.

Stop Blaming Yourself When Relationships Go Wrong

Stop Blaming Yourself When Relationships Go Wrong

Sure, you may have snooped through their phone, but are you to blame for the insecurity they created? Did they act distant, suspicious, and set off alarm bells with the way they used their phone? If they did, what you did was a consequence to their action, so stop blaming yourself. They made you suspicious, so you acted on those suspicions. Not your fault and you are not to blame.

If they disappeared out of the blue for no good reason then just chalk that up to them being a cowardly asshole. If you did something worthy of someone ghosting you, trust me, you would know it. It would be more than obvious because it would have to be something worthy of a restraining order. That’s not on you, that is on them.

Just because you keep encountering people who are not right for you doesn’t mean you are doing something wrong. There are more people on earth that are wrong for you than that are right for you. It’s not a curse, its simple math. You would have to be very lucky to not have to weed through a bunch of “wrong” people before you find the right ones. Stop blaming yourself for that too.

Don’t blame yourself when someone has left you unless you truly did something that is a relationship deal breaker. If they broke up with you for something stupid chances are it was just an excuse. They were going to end it but didn’t want to be honest or hold themselves accountable, instead they blamed you. Put the blame back on them where it belongs. Take some of the blame and use it as a lesson to make wiser choices going forward. But don’t take them blame that belongs to someone else. Even if they want to blame everything on you, don’t own it.

Sarah is a Certified Relationship Life Coach and Soulmate ~ Twin Flame expert with 20+ years experience helping clients around the world live the life and have the relationship they desire. Sarah is here to empower you to see the truth in your situation, not enable you to remain in a place that keeps you stuck and unhappy. Sarah will lift you to see the reality of your situation, providing guidance to see you through it. She will also help you get control of your relationship, if it can be saved, so you have can the relationship you have hoped for. Sarah co-hosts two weekly radio shows, primarily geared toward relationship issues, called Empower Enlighten Envision on Weds nights on BlogTalkRadio as well as CBS NewSkyRadio.

7 Comments

  1. Felix M.

    July 26, 2018 at 10:42 am

    Yes, don’t blame yourself if someone leaves you for no particular reason. If you did your best for the relationship to work out then it’s not your fault at all. Pick yourself up and move on with life.

  2. divyanka

    July 6, 2018 at 4:57 pm

    The thing is whether you blame yourself or not the guilt of ending a relationship is really unavoidable.

  3. N.R.

    June 29, 2018 at 4:03 am

    It’s really true not to blame yourself if do something good for your relationship but at the end they will left you all alone. Put the blame to he one that leaves. If you will blame yourself, you will suffer at all. Be strong enough and move on.

  4. Linda

    May 21, 2018 at 5:54 pm

    Thank you for this article. Very informative

  5. Delphine

    May 20, 2018 at 12:12 am

    There’s no time,season,or what ever to end a relationship.. But I guess relationship ends because you were not the right person for that your friend

    • Sarah Adelle

      May 20, 2018 at 12:13 am

      Of course there is a reason to end a relationship! Like you even said, if you are not right for someone or they for you, that IS the time to end it. Relationships don’t end by themselves, someone has to end them.

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