Do you feel you and your romantic partner are very compatible? But are you truly compatible in the things that count?
I have a friend whose boyfriend keeps talking behind her back to his ex in inappropriate ways. They have broken up many times before, and he goes back to the ex for a while. When that doesn’t work, he comes back to her. I told her he is a cheater, and is playing the both of them. I said he is a liar and untrustworthy. Want to know what she said to me? “But we are so compatible in every way!!”
After I picked up the pieces of my exploded head and put it back together, I said to her “How the f*#k are you two compatible? Because you have fun together, have similar tastes in music, movies and tv shows? Because the sex is good?” She said yes and looked at me as if that was the stupidest question she ever heard. I then proceeded to tell her that just because they had similar interests, that doesn’t mean that they are compatible. She looked at me like I was an idiot and said “Of course it does”. I said IF you are looking for someone to go to concerts with, watch tv with, and have sex with, then yes you are compatible. However, in a romantic relationship, you are not.
You want commitment and you want it honored. You want security, you want the truth, and you want to trust your partner. He, on the other hand, does not honor his commitments, cheats, lies, and cannot be trusted. So, in the area of relationship rules, where it COUNTS, you two are NOT compatible. She then said that everything BUT what I just mentioned was PERFECT, and except for this business with his ex, they had a perfect relationship. I told her NO, your relationship SUCKS. You could be movie buddies, concert goers, and watch tv together. What you cannot do is have a relationship that works for the both of you. I then told her friends can do those things, but not every friend can be a boyfriend. Real compatibility in relationships is not about having similar backgrounds or interests. Relationships have relationship rules, deal breakers, dynamics, and boundaries. If you are not compatible in those areas, then you are not compatible in relationships. Period.
Stop trying to fit the square peg in the round hole. If I see one more moronic internet dating site commercial where a couple is laughing about stupid crap like where they went to school and their ability to dance I am doing to SCREAM. Those things will NOT sustain a relationship. They may make for interesting dating conversation, but that is about it. You can hate each others taste in music, but both believe in monogamy. You can have the same taste in music and EVERYTHING ELSE but have different ideas concerning monogamy in a relationship. Now which couple stand the better chance? Yeah, the one that is compatible where it COUNTS, not where it DOES NOT.
So, take a look at your relationship, and ask yourself if you really are compatible in the areas that matter.
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