Is it bad to be too nice to someone you are in a relationship with? We would all like to think we are taking the high road by always being nice, and not stooping to someone else’s level. But is being nice always the right road to take? Is there ever a time to stop being too nice to someone? At a certain point, in some relationships, you have to stop being too nice in order to create change.
Many people think that if your response to their bad behavior is that you remain nice, they perceive that as an acceptance of their bad behavior. Since they get away with it, with zero consequences, they are almost 100% certain to repeat that behavior over and over again. What incentive is there to stop? There is none, so they won’t. You get the bad behavior and the emotional and mental toll it takes on you, and they get off free and clear.
And what about the toll it is taking on your relationship? Sure, your boyfriend gets a girlfriend that is way too nice to him considering his behavior, yet you get a boyfriend that treats you worse and worse. Your insecurities about yourself and the relationship continue to grow. Your self-esteem and self-respect sink to lower and lower levels. His opinion of you doesn’t get better. You boyfriend is not ready to put you up for sainthood nor does he respect and admire you for continuing to turn the other cheek. At a certain point he will see you as pathetic, insecure, and definitely not admirable. His attraction level to you as a person is going to take a nose dive.
When many women put up with bad treatment hey lose their sense of self and their fear grows and grows. Now they are terrified to do anything but be nice because they think if they speak up or stand up for themselves their boyfriend or husband will leave them. They now have a permanent excuse for being too nice or playing the peacemaker. This sets the relationship up to fail and at some point it will end.
The level of dysfunction and toxicity will continue to poison this relationship going forward, and doom it to misery. I am not saying you have to go postal on your boyfriend or husband if they leave their socks on the floor. What I am saying is when it comes to being hurt, treated badly, or being disrespected you have to call them out, and dish out a reasonable consequence.
Just talking about it won’t work. You have to show them you mean business, not just tell them you mean business. No man is afraid of any women’s words. Her actions? Yes. So when it comes to major offenses, it is time to take the gloves off and fight back. You are not fighting against the man you love, you are actually fighting for a happier relationship, and giving the future of that relationship more potential. If the man in your life keeps doing the same things over and over again, it’s a safe bet to say you are being too nice about it. Change how you react to it, and you better your chances of him stopping that bad behavior once and for all.
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