Why does he lie so much? Don’t they understand that every lie they tell makes us trust them less? Do the ones we love not realize the hurt and anger they cause us with every lie they tell? Don’t they realize they may lose us one day if they don’t stop lying?
Each lie that we tell in a relationship makes us look less and less trustworthy. When someone no longer trusts us, they become insecure, suspicious, and their feelings for us change. Someone may think they are getting away with every lie they tell, but they are not seeing the big picture.
The reasons why they tell so many lies, and repeatedly, are going to eventually cost them their relationship. No one wants to be lied to. It is disrespectful. It is one thing to lie out of kindness, like if someone asks if they look terrible and you say no so they don’t feel so bad. But when a lie feels like a slap in the face, it hurts. And many people may forgive those lies over and over, but they don’t forget.
It is hard to imagine why people lie so much. Can we blame it on the fact that there are so many pathological liars on earth all of a sudden? No. Most people are choosing to lie, because it benefits them in some way. Some people may lie and tell you they are looking for the same things that you are in a relationship. They lie and allude to the fact that they want to settle down. They even act the part! But are they telling the truth? No. They said these things because that was what they thought you wanted to hear. They said those things so they could be with you temporarily. They knew at some point the truth would come out, but they would be long gone by then, and they would have gotten what they wanted.
It may be hard for you to believe they lied to you as good as they did . You may be instead thinking something changed their mind and are looking at what is to blame for their change of heart. In many cases, it wasn’t a change, it was an ACT. They got tired of acting and now you are seeing their truth, instead of lies. People that do those are usually repeat offenders. You can find many people like this on internet dating sites.
As we all know, some people lie to get out of facing punishment or reprimand. They chose to do what they wanted (that you would get upset with) and then chose to cover it up with a lie. This shows a lack of integrity. They feel they have not done anything wrong if they never get caught. Once they get away with it, it becomes easier and easier. It can get to a point where you can ask them almost anything and they will go with a lie rather than the truth.
People having affairs don’t want to focus on the hurt they could cause you or your family. Since they haven’t been caught, they don’t have to deal with the consequences to you or themselves. So they will lie repeatedly about numerous things because they have to. They have to lie about where they have been, who they have been spending time with, how late they are working, and so much more. Many people who have found out about their loved ones affairs felt especially hurt not just by the infidelity but about the tons of lies they were told.
If you are searching for a good reason as to why the one you love lies so much, keep in mind that there is really no good reason. If you have respect for the person and your relationship with them, you keep the lies to a bare minimum. If they have chosen to lie to you continually, they don’t value you or the relationship enough.