Many times in relationships women like to ask themselves..why does he need you? Does he really need you? Women have a tendency to want to be needed by the men in their lives. There should be no problem with that, we all want to be loved and needed. But needed for what exactly? If he needs you to pay his cell phone bill, or his house/car note or for financial help in general, that is not exactly the type of need that goes hand in hand with being loved. That kind of need can go hand in hand with “being used”. You want the man in your life to need you because he loves you, would be lost without you, and would have no one to share his thoughts and feelings with.
What you don’t want is him needing you in his life because he doesn’t want to get a job. Needing you in his life because he wants you to be his mother and cook and clean for him doesn’t work either. If a man really loves you he wants you to need him too. If he loves you he wants to be your partner, not your employee that you have to pay (in some way, shape or form) to be there. Women often think if they help their man out in every way possible, that the man will be eternally grateful. They hope he will see how much she loves him and love her all the more for it. She hope he will never forget the kindness she has shown him and that he will do all he can to repay her. Yeah, ok. How often does that happen?
What happens more often then not is he takes everything she does for granted, and then feels he is entitled to it. He also doesn’t feel he has to reciprocate, since he hasn’t all along. He doesn’t feel grateful, just like a spoiled brat wouldn’t either. Then if she does begin to say no to his needs he gets pissed off! Wow, how grateful. The woman would be lucky to see a dime of the money paid back that she has dished out, much less gratitude for doing it. A good rule of thumb for women: If you lose your mind and loan him money, don’t loan him another cent until he has paid you back for the first loan in full. If he doesn’t pay you back he basically stole from you. Do you want him to need you as the “Bank of Co-Dependancy” or as a loving woman that he respects? Make sure he needs you for the right reasons, not the wrong ones.