Love Life Coaching

Could You, Should You, And Will You Get Him Back?

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When couples break up, the questions we are asked the most is:
1. Can I get him back?
2. Will I get him back?
3. Should I get him back?

The first thing you have to look at, before you even think about getting back together, is why you broke up in the first place. If you have broken up several times already, and have always gotten back together, chances are you are in an on/off relationship and will get back together again. However, instead of worrying if you will reunite, you need to focus on why you are in an on/off relationship. An on/off relationship is one where most people are not aware they are even in a relationship. The couple breaks up numerous times and gets back together. For one, it is a game, and they know they will get back together. The other thinks the “break ups” are real and goes through emotional hell each time. These relationships get worse over time, never get the chance to grow, and inevitably will end. Focus on how to change your relationship from an on/off relationship first before you even think of getting back together, since you will only repeat the pattern.

Could You, Should You, And Will You Get Him Back?

Could You, Should You, And Will You Get Him Back?

If he broke up with you, for whatever reason, you may be wondering what you can do to get him back. Who says you can? This is not a debate that you can win, it is up to him and him alone, and pleading your case over and over rarely, if ever, works. If you want him back, the best thing to do to win him back is nothing. After you let him know you did not want the relationship to end and are open to getting back together, your job is done. The ball is in his court and you are no longer in control.

Women may like romantic, over-the-top gestures, but men do not respond to those the same way women do. They are usually creeped out by them. You may use the excuse that you are afraid he may forget you, but he does not and will not have amnesia, and will only forget you, if ever, with a lot of time passing. Like decades.

So enough with that excuse. Even if you did something terrible to deserve the break-up, you do not get to decide when or if he forgives you. Again, it is up to him (after you have said you are sorry).

Now the question of whether or not you should take him back is one you should really think about. If you think a fight and being apart for some time will have taught him a lesson and he will change YEARS (or decades) or bad behavior that is second nature to him, you are kidding yourself. If you go back into it knowing he may have learned *something* but still has a long way to go that is one thing, to think things will be different is a fantasy. If he really is not right for you, but you just do not want to give up because you love him (actually you only love *part* of him) then don’t bother wasting any more time with Mr. Wrong. Let him go so you can find Mr. Right.

If he has a wife, a girlfriend, several girlfriends and if you were never given the *label* of wife or girlfriend, then why go back into something that has no future? You had nothing to start out with, so technically you lost what you hoped could come of this, but in reality, nothing will come of this. It is time to let go.

Letting go is hard, and getting closure is a process. But it is not an excuse to get back together either. After a breakup, look back on the entire relationship. The. ENTIRE. Relationship. Not just parts of it, but the ENTIRE thing. See it for what it is. Then, if you are given the opportunity to get back together with him, you will know exactly what your future will look like with him.


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Sarah is a Certified Relationship Life Coach and Soulmate ~ Twin Flame expert with 20+ years experience helping clients around the world live the life and have the relationship they desire. Sarah is here to empower you to see the truth in your situation, not enable you to remain in a place that keeps you stuck and unhappy. Sarah will lift you to see the reality of your situation, providing guidance to see you through it. She will also help you get control of your relationship, if it can be saved, so you have can the relationship you have hoped for. Sarah co-hosts two weekly radio shows, primarily geared toward relationship issues, called Empower Enlighten Envision on Weds nights on BlogTalkRadio as well as CBS NewSkyRadio.

1 Comment

  1. Tammy

    March 20, 2015 at 9:32 pm

    Oh I never want him back! thanks for revalidating that for me

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