When it comes to love, it is just like the Rolling Stones song says: You can’t always get what you want. The other person has a vote too, and if they don’t love you, want to be with you, or stay with you, you are out of luck. Many women, and men, seem to think there must be something they can do or say to get the one they want to be with to love them and treat them well. Big fat NO on that one folks. Acceptance of reality seems to be as elusive as closure for some.
He won’t commit but you want him to? Please accept that maybe one day he will, but there is just as good a chance he NEVER will.
He is emotionally unavailable to you and you want him to change? Well, you are not going to get what you want no matter how long you wait, so move on.
He is married and you want him to leave his wife or girlfriend to be with you? Please accept the fact that he wants to be with his wife or girlfriend, and that is why he is with them. Sure, he may be with you too, but he stays with her. It does not matter what the reason is, it is good enough for him to stay, and it should be good enough for you to let go. Try not wanting a man who is in a relationship already. That is a better course of action.
Your man treats you like crap and you want him to treat you better? Until you are willing to take a stand, forget about him morphing into a decent man overnight, if ever. When you are ready to take that stand you will find out if he even has it in him. Not every man does. There are men out there who treat all women in relationships like shit. He may be one of them. Accept that.
You may want a relationship to move forward. Well, your relationship may never move forward if it is up to someone else. If he is happy with what you have, please don’t think that the simple act of waiting around is going to do something to create change. You can wait patiently for a cake to bake and have a wonderful snack in the end. You can wait for a relationship to grow and wind up with rotten garbage. Waiting makes things change, they can either grow, stay the same, or DECAY. Accept that two out of three SUCK, and that waiting can have a bad outcome in the end.
If you want a relationship to blossom from a friends with benefits situation, you need to wake the hell up. The chances of that are so slim, and it is time grown women accept that there is a snowball’s chance in hell that will happen. If you want a relationship, go get one. If you want to be used for sex, stay with your “friend”.
If you want your man to stop cheating, leave him. Have the courage to end things. Then, if you must, give him one more chance. He blows it? Leave him for good. The end.
Do you want to end the drama in your relationship? Do you want to stop yelling at one another? Do you want security, stability, and maturity in your relationship? Then first accept that it is dysfunctional. Ever heard of dysfunctional relationships? Good, because you are in one. Now it is time do something about it, and stop putting up with a relationship that resembles one involving 14 year olds.
If you want to stop breaking up and getting back together with the one you love, then end the relationship yourself. On/off relationships have to come to an end at some point, and all behaviors need to change in order to fix them. Without courage and space between you, nothing can ever come of it and you will break up for good at some point. Without courage, you will lose him.
There is another line of the song that says “but if you try sometimes, you get what you need”. It is time you stop waiting and hoping for what you want. It is time you tried to get what you need. Even if you lose him, what he was giving you, you really didn’t need or want anyway.
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